Caught By The River.

I leave for St. Edward’s in exactly two weeks. I couldn’t be more enthused. Starting over on a clean slate is completely invigorating. With only knowing a handful of people from orientation, entering a life full of strangers is going to be a fulfilling one. Especially in a place like Austin. The only tough thing will be leaving my family and a few close friends. But I’m ready. I’ve been ready for a very long time. But then this one person comes to mind who I worry about day in and day out (although worrying is just a waste of time that produces no results). I worry that this person will never find joy in solitude (or in life at all). Suppressants only last for so long, and then we become consumed by the feel-good lifestyle we’ve grown accustomed to without ever confronting the problem at hand. Is life just a series of suppressants? Will people never find pure joy within themselves? I worry about that more than I should.

I’ve been reading many books and articles on people’s lives being ripped to pieces and nearly broken apart by certain situations, and then they go on to say they live every day like it is their last. But then I think back to the law of the Universe and it giving you what you are asking for. So if you act as if it is your last day on Earth, are you asking for your own mortality? It seems to be a bit of a contradiction that is filling up societal views like a plague. The day when people think purely for themselves without any influence will be a serious revolution.

Don’t let the necessary occur.

I don’t understand why it is so hard to get from point A to point B. There are always so many obstacles getting in the way. I mean this literally when driving on a road and spending two hours to get to a place that’s half an hour away, and metaphorically in life circumstances. Its such a shame that certain things or people hold you back from going to where you want to go. In some cases, its cause you can’t let go and move on but sometimes crap gets in the way and you can’t control it. Being out of control of your own life is possibly one of the worst feelings in the world. Its like having an anxiety attack but for days on end. And pills won’t be a solution. The solution is to simply and bluntly grow a pair and move on. If there is a problem, do something about it. Sitting there and whining makes you look like a moron so do everyone a favor and act like a respectable human being and prove to yourself that you are better than sitting and moping. Anyway this might have seemed a little vague and unclear but sometimes things are better left that way.

Grapevine mall is a mix between fun childish things and creepy old men. I have figured out that creepy old men will always be lurking around the corner, waiting to prey on their next victim. Disgusting yet mostly true. Although, Rain Forest Cafe is magical.

John Mayer is one of the most talented musicians of the decade. If anyone has an objection to that I’d love to have a nice little argue about it but just know you will lose very badly. John Mayer is a genius and his music never gets old (except for Your Body Is A Wonderland…egh) and I can listen to it hours on end. Until you have listened to Slow Dancing In A Burning Room, Split Screen Sadness, and Gravity, do not even attempt to say a bad thing about Mayer’s music. As a person, yeah he can be quite a wanker but musically he’s nearly a Saint. And I nearly forgot his live performances which are almost better than album versions. There are recordings of him just playing the crap out of his guitar with no written music or anything. I have never heard a sweeter sound come from a single man and his guitar.

I absolutely love writing but these college entrance essays are giving me the heebie jeebies. I feel confident in any writing I’ve ever done except for the college entrance essays. Especially when they are about yourself. I would much rather talk about dolphins’ mating habits than trying to describe myself to fit their cookie cutter molds. Its exhausting trying to make yourself sound perfect and flawless when you very well know of the illegal things you’ve done whether its drugs, drinking, or killing a person (hopefully none of those listed). And if you write a sob story about your difficulties in life they just know you’re looking for a sympathy card. The balance is ridiculously hard to find. I wish I could just tell them to take a look at my facebook page and be done with it.

Summer seems to be slowly fading away minus the one thousand degree temperature that is only rising if anything. Less than a month left until I enter that dungeon of a school. At least it will be my last first day of school at Naaman. Being a senior is not going to be a breeze and to everyone who has said that, you’re a liar. I guess I’d rather be busy doing things not related to Naaman than be super involved in that hell hole. (if anyone from Naaman or GISD is reading this, I actually love the school and everyone involved in it).

I need to find out if the rumor of a John Mayer tour is true or not. I can’t find any information and it is driving me mad. I was thinking about going to Weezy’s concert later in August but from his last stunt I’m reconsidering it. (I’m speaking of the concert where he drank himself unconscious and missed his entire show). It was actually quite funny hearing about but I’d be rather pissed if I had paid for a ticket and was disappointed by a no-show.

With my birthday approximately four months away, I’m in need of ideas on what to do besides going out to a sleezy eighteen and up club (and no it isn’t too far away to be planning). I am thinking about going to a nice place to eat but of course am falling flat on actual places. Although, Chuck E Cheese is always an option.

So with Mr. Baker’s refusal of having an IC screening at school, I am now having to find a new place to hold the assembly. This is gonna be more complicated than I thought. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Or if anyone would like to rally together and charge his office with a protest of him giving me three hours to change everyone’s lives, that’d be cool too.