Turn to Stone.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on here, and this is entry is going to be a rambling of sorts.

Something disturbing but what I think is necessary to address is from a tweet by Andy Carvin, Senior strategist at NPR. CAUTION: The link of the video is attached but I have to warn you, it is the most disturbing and grotesque video I have ever seen in my entire life. That is not an exaggeration and is in all seriousness. Only view if you can stomach the images. His tweet reads,

“2 boys: one w/ his jaw blown off; the other his foot. Worse than graphic; an abomination. My hands are shaking. http://bit.ly/z7BL1C#syria”

There have been arguments that people do not need to see images like this. I think that, although hard to sit through, others need to see it because others need to experience the depth of the situation going on in Syria, as well as worldwide. It’s so easy to look past horrific events. It shouldn’t be sloughed off. If this doesn’t enrage people enough to act then I don’t know what will. Politics aside, this is a humanitarian crisis that isn’t going to get resolved until the international community acts. I’m more disgusted not by the images, but by the fact that this is REAL and probably happens more than we have knowledge of. While the UN discusses a plan and Russia and China refuse to take part in requesting President Assad to step down, people are dying in unimaginable agony. Children are left with toxic stress and no home to live in. I was talking to my professor about this, and she said “We have to try to come up with ideas because not to do so is worse.” I find this to be absolutely true. It is hard to know when intervening is appropriate, but to do so is better than not to (in this situation). I’m absolutely enraged that crimes like this continue and that our country is so behind in responding. As one of the most wealthy nations in the world, we have no reason to not help end this cruelty (as well as fixing our own problems). I dislike when people say “If I were President…” and come up with a slew of solutions that usually are irrelevant to the actual needs of the country, but if I were a little past my years, I would hop on a plane with a team of peacekeepers and do the work myself. What a silly, idealistic, unrealistic, unpractical, almost stupid thing to say, right? Well, welcome to the mind of Monique, where nothing makes sense but everything does and will work out.

The world news is more than news. It gives us a chance to do things we never dreamed of. It’s a chance to act on behalf of those that have been silenced. However, if I were writing these things this past weekend, I wouldn’t believe it. The weekend had been especially tough for me. I was overcome with grief, doubt, and confusion. I felt defeated, worthless and crushed. I felt pain that I hadn’t felt in years, and was at a loss of what to do with myself. Sulking alone and putting on a happy face when in public, the state of my mind was in an unhealthy place. However, with the bad comes the good. There are many things I could ramble on about, but none of them matter because it all comes down to this: God never lets go, He is faithful and more loving than we can ever imagine. The situation never matters; He is always there to comfort, protect and love us. He has never let me down, not even to this day, and I know I can put my hope in Him.I was reawakened with this Truth in the late hours of Sunday night, and I am grateful for the opportunity to live another joyous day, especially when so many have it taken from them.

Let Hope Rise.

Summer seems to already be winding down. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been in Austin all summer that made time fly by, or if there was some other factor I’m unaware of, but I can’t believe my summer is nearly over. I have one day of work left at my internship at the ARCH, which I’m really going to miss. It was a bit chaotic and messy at times, but working there has been one of the most edifying and rewarding experiences of my life. The people I worked with are some of the most dedicated in this city and the clients are some of the most hopeful people I’ve met. It was a true joy working there, and I’m so grateful I was called to stay in this city.

This weekend was the last one of the summer in Austin, and it was a strange one indeed. Vanessa and I got lost and basically took a road trip through central Texas on Saturday but it was a great and fun mess. Today was an interesting day of new places and faces, and lots of little reminders that God isn’t ignoring my prayers.

I leave for San Diego for the Fourth Estate in a few days, and it’s crazy to think the time has already arrived! I remember getting ready for the 25 event on April 25th, and seeing the Fourth Estate video for the first time. I thought there would be no way I would be accepted, but I was. I thought there would be no way to pay for it, but there was. And now I’m packing to go on this conference. I’m stoked to learn about all the teachings they have to give us and to go back to Cali after a long 12 years of departing it. It’s going to be an experience of a lifetime I’m sure, and I hope to bring back ideas and plans for the future.

There are a lot more things I want to say but can’t find the words to write. The main point I want to get across is this: people will always fail you and there are times when you feel like the world is literally pushing you down into the ground and it’s black all around and no one cares about you and there is nothing but bad things left for you. But God will never fail you and when the world feels too heavy He takes the weight for you and when you feel caught in a dark abyss He is there to bring in the light and bad can’t even exist because the Father is there watching out for his children. But God. Such a simple phrase and one that changes everything. It’s so so so easy to focus on the negative, the bad, the extremely horrible things of this world. Society shapes us into seeing the bad and taking the good for granted. I challenge you to only notice the good things, to always be happy even when it’s a struggle, and to know that through it all, there is a better and brighter day ahead. Nothing can stop you from being happy, except yourself. So let the love of the universe fill you up and the evil of the world have no place in your heart. Love is good, and love is real.

Ghost writing.

Crazy random happenstances from the past few days:

- I keep waking up with headphones around my neck, wrapped around me tightly.
- A teacher had sexual relations with a student. Atrocious and saddening.
- I finished Black Coffee. and absolutely loved it.
- I counted how many times I said “I” yesterday, and lost count within four hours of being awake. Not good.
- Hopefully, I will be going to Austin on Sunday. I miss it so much.
- Oh, did I mention the phenomenon that is of the passing of the LRA Disarmament bill? Greatest thing to happen in quite a long time. So much work is ahead of us, but we finally got what we’ve been working so diligently towards.
- God is undeniably perfect. This doesn’t fit the category, but I needed to say it.

This is what a new friend of mine has written up for my blog tonight. Somewhat accurate. Somewhat strange. Somewhat transparent. Very amusing (for myself at least).

“Hi. MKS. Midnight. Bored. U2. Can’t sleep. School ends tomorrow. Feels like a whole lifetimes ending and beginning all at the same time. Listening to Title and Registration. Death Cab. Voice sounds eerily familiar. Feeling that Ben Gibbard is incognito with Postal Service. Saw picture of LRA leader. He-whose-name-must-not-be-named. I ran out of the room. Now I’m here. Typing. I’m MKS. Typing here, in the dark, makes me wonder if I’m even awake. I feel an onset of random philosphical gibberish coming. It’s uncontrollable. THIS SOUNDS LIKE IM TRIPPIN’ ON ACCIDDD. Wait. No, I AM tripping on ACID, LSD to be exact. OH CRAP. I forgot. So guess what? Breaking news. That LRA bill I’m always blogging about none of you actually know about? Yeah, it got passed. – random moment of enjoyment – Back to square one. Know what I realized? Government is so SLOW. No wonder everyone in government is actually pretty old. Anyone my age in government would derail the whole thing. So much for patience. Err wait, it’s a virtue. Government = patience = virtue. Government = virtue. Wait, what?”

God is great.

The power of prayer is phenomenal. God grants us everything we could ever want and need, there is nothing better. Steal Kill and Destroy has been a great eye opener for me, and how I can redirect my life to be more positive. Everything I do should be for Him, and anything that is done outside of His grace is just selfishness which I find sinful. I’m not preaching here guys, I understand that there are many unreligious types and that is fine, but God loves everyone no matter if they’re an atheist or a Muslim or anything. I just love the feeling of a revelation so grand that it over takes your entire mind, body, and spirit. He has an unlimited amount of love for us, greater than any love you can think of. Greater than “The Notebook,” your parents, your boyfriend/girlfriend. His heart is always open, no matter what you go through. Once you see the sins you’ve done, it is your opportunity to change them in bettering yourself and being a role model for others. Our generation is not here to be the technology freaks, we’re here to bring peace and love and to help one another. That’s the ultimate reason we are all here.

Invisible Children projects are coming along quite nicely. We are trying to set up a hardcore/punk show for November 7 at The Roc, and November 13 is all set for The Generator. Acoustic performances by some great Dallas talent, with all proceeds going straight to Invisible Children! The next night at Mokah in Deep Ellum we will have an IC show in The Lounge.  Fun times are ahead my friends. The IC work never ends and it is always fulfilling. The Book Drive is still alive and we need your old and used books! Don’t forget guys- if I raise $4,000 by December 1, I will be getting an IC tatted on me. This is not a joke. I am not joking. This is in no way a humorous mockery. This is serious.

I understand we are getting older and some people consider us as “adults” but I really don’t. I’m not sure if it was “Where the Wild Things Are” that inspired me, but at this age I still believe we are still kids. Most of us depend on our parents for things used daily. So when I’m in a certain class hearing people brag about drinking/partying/smoking/having sex, I am completely disgusted and saddened for them. What happened to the days of hanging out at a park and playing around, building forts made of sheets, and watching Arthur and Magic School Bus? (Footy pajamas and forts made of sheets are the best. I rearranged my whole room to make a tent, and miraculously Target just put out new footy pj’s for adults. This is life at its best). I know we can’t always dwell in the past and that we have responsibilities as we age, but turning to activities such as getting trashed is not my idea of growing up. The majority of people’s parents do so much for us, and showing our gratitude by having sex or smoking a joint is not what they had in mind. That is the ultimate form of disrespect towards them, towards yourself, towards God. I want to know why people do these things, why it has become so abusive and such a problem, and why people think it’s cool. If anyone has any input about this, please enlighten me for I am ignorant of the enjoyment people get out of such activities.

This was my last year of playing Team Tennis at Districts and it was bitter sweet. I love my new dubs partner and our matches are always interesting, it’s just sad thinking that I will never play team tennis again. Spring tennis is so much more competitive and it’s individual, so it will be a whole new set up. But we are First Place Champs for the THIRD year in a row! Rangers wreck on the court. Regionals this year will be, ha, funny. Only if we play Skyline again will we get past round one, otherwise any other school will most likely humiliate us. But challenges are always exciting, I suppose. We leave for Regionals on October 29 so I hope to be back in time to do something for Halloween! I’m thinking of doing a Trick or Change for Invisible Children. (: If you’d like to join please let me know!

College applications can be a pain. ApplyTexas is the longest app EVER CREATED. Goodness it’s made me hate filling out forms! And 6 essays…goodness. Scholarships will be just as entertaining to do. But giving up a few hours to get money for school is a pretty good trade. I have ACT’s tomorrow and have not really studied for them, but I am hoping it will go semi-well. Test taking has always been such a problem for me. The paper stares back at me as if saying, “You will fail, there’s no chance of you succeeding.” It can be quite intimidating. I also work on weekends only because I’m so busy during the week, so as soon as I’m done with the ACT I am heading straight to work. (I work at The Generator in downtown Garland by the square, it’s really a fabulous place that everyone needs to check out). I have never been this busy before and I have to say, as stressful as it can get at times, I thoroughly enjoy everything I’ve been doing. I’m incredibly blessed to have an amazing first job with great co-workers. And, I love love love coffee.

Three things for you guys to do:
1) Inform me on why people act like hooligans (refer to paragraph 3)
2) Join me for Trick or Change (Or if you have any other IC ideas, throw them at me)
3) Save Nov 7, Nov 13, and Nov 14 on your calendars for IC benefit shows!

If you read all of this, I applaud you. God bless and take care guys! <3