Let Hope Rise.

Summer seems to already be winding down. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been in Austin all summer that made time fly by, or if there was some other factor I’m unaware of, but I can’t believe my summer is nearly over. I have one day of work left at my internship at the ARCH, which I’m really going to miss. It was a bit chaotic and messy at times, but working there has been one of the most edifying and rewarding experiences of my life. The people I worked with are some of the most dedicated in this city and the clients are some of the most hopeful people I’ve met. It was a true joy working there, and I’m so grateful I was called to stay in this city.

This weekend was the last one of the summer in Austin, and it was a strange one indeed. Vanessa and I got lost and basically took a road trip through central Texas on Saturday but it was a great and fun mess. Today was an interesting day of new places and faces, and lots of little reminders that God isn’t ignoring my prayers.

I leave for San Diego for the Fourth Estate in a few days, and it’s crazy to think the time has already arrived! I remember getting ready for the 25 event on April 25th, and seeing the Fourth Estate video for the first time. I thought there would be no way I would be accepted, but I was. I thought there would be no way to pay for it, but there was. And now I’m packing to go on this conference. I’m stoked to learn about all the teachings they have to give us and to go back to Cali after a long 12 years of departing it. It’s going to be an experience of a lifetime I’m sure, and I hope to bring back ideas and plans for the future.

There are a lot more things I want to say but can’t find the words to write. The main point I want to get across is this: people will always fail you and there are times when you feel like the world is literally pushing you down into the ground and it’s black all around and no one cares about you and there is nothing but bad things left for you. But God will never fail you and when the world feels too heavy He takes the weight for you and when you feel caught in a dark abyss He is there to bring in the light and bad can’t even exist because the Father is there watching out for his children. But God. Such a simple phrase and one that changes everything. It’s so so so easy to focus on the negative, the bad, the extremely horrible things of this world. Society shapes us into seeing the bad and taking the good for granted. I challenge you to only notice the good things, to always be happy even when it’s a struggle, and to know that through it all, there is a better and brighter day ahead. Nothing can stop you from being happy, except yourself. So let the love of the universe fill you up and the evil of the world have no place in your heart. Love is good, and love is real.

Born this way, die this way.

Spring break is over. And it started snowing yesterday. How extremely bizarre.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
   35.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
   Never trying.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
   You have to try things to see if you like them. If you don’t try new things, you will never learn anything.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
   No. I put my words into action.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
   People’s pessimism.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
   Helping others in any way.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
   I never settle.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
   Not be in school for over 1/2 of it.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
   100%. We have total control over our life.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
    I almost always do the right thing. I’m a go-with-my-gut kind of person.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
    First off, if they have any reason behind what they say, then I have to respect their opinion. If they are purely ‘distasteful and unjustified’ then I will explain to them how and why they are utterly wrong.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
    Do what you love.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
    Yes.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
    Actually, yes.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
    Think, speak, and act.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
    Everyone has their own hobby or idea that makes them happy. Everyone’s different.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
    Travel the world and meet different people and learn their customs. I’m in high school so I don’t have the ability to get up and leave.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
    Always.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
    England. Land of the beautiful. I would also be near my very amazing family.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
    Yes, and it really has no effect. It’s just a matter of my own patience.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
    Joyful simpleton.
22. Why are you, you?
    God made me this way. I enjoy the things I do, the way I am, and the complexities of myself.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
    Definitely.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
    When a good friends moves away. Forceful goodbyes are absolute bollocks.
25. What are you most grateful for?
    Life.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
    Lose old ones.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
    Yes. Some things are proven true. And some people are very gullible.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
    Nope, he’s still alive.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
    I remember being upset a lot at age 13. It doesn’t.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
    I have a lot that consist of being at the park with family, playing soccer, and being with friends doing weird, strange things. Being a child is absolutely wonderful, so the whole time period is very special to me.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
    Anything doing with Invisible Children, especially The Rescue last April, holding screenings/benefit shows, and meeting with Congressmen about the LRA bill.
32. If not now, then when?
    Now. Always now.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
    Nothing. One should always take risks.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
    No. I like words.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
    Because its followers are extremists and don’t realise we are all from the same God.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
    Some say yes, but we have to have doubts to be human.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
    Not if I loved my job.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
    More work I enjoy doing. I’d rather do endless IC work than even a ten minute statistics assignment.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
    Nope.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
    Last summer. That was a good day.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
    As many people as I could. This is a truly heinous question.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
    No. Appearances and fame mean almost nothing to me.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
    Being alive is having a heart beat. Truly living is doing what you’re passionate about, surrounding yourself with happiness and spreading love.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
    Right now. Take risks people. I would say yesterday if that were possible.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
    People don’t like disappointments, although that is when we learn the most.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
    Say a lot more.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
    A few minutes ago. Yoga is all about timely breathing.
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
    Invisible Children. Yes. I hosted the IC roadies for a few days. I held many screenings/benefit shows. I do a lot for them because my love for them is unsurpassed.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
    Possibly. I try to take more detailed notes in mind of what I do.
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
    For the most part, I make them.

This is the hope that lies in you.

Wow. Don’t you love that feeling when everything seems to have shifted, for the better? The affect that people can have on one person is immense. There’s a plethora of happiness going on and I have Invisible Children to thank for that. My happiness can always be routed back to them. Having the IC roadies at my house last week was a fun, entertaining and joyous occasion. I feel so blessed to have met them, conversed with them, spent time with them, and gotten to know all of them. They are truly the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life. I realise that’s a monstorous statement but it’s one I wholeheartedly mean. The Ugandans (Lilian and Benna) shared some great stories with us, and Lilian and my dad got to talk about their childhoods together (growing up in Uganda and India was apparently very similar). I really miss all of them and am so grateful to have learned things so much from them with the short amount of time we all had together.

I also am pleased with the screening and want to thank everyone who came. We raised $43 in cupcakes, brownies and bracelets, and sold $1450 worth of merchandise. And 5 children have full tuition in their school in Uganda as well. I want to thank you guys for not being apathetic anymore. Apathy is a feeling that has plagued us all. We see tormented individuals and know it’s terrible, but then we go on with our day thinking to ourself, “Well I can’t do everything for everyone.” My dad was talking to me about how he spends the same amount of money on lotto tickets every month that the visible child scholarship asks for (which is $35) and how he’s going to stop his gambling habit with lottery tickets so he can help a student in need. In the words of my father, “People aren’t hesitant to give $40 or $50 to their own kid, because they know them. But giving to someone you’ve never met and will never know, that’s a different story. That takes a wholehearted, giving person. Our Guru’s taught us to be selfless and giving, and there are so many that don’t live that type of lifestyle. But for me, I know what’s right, and this change is right.”

Senator Coburn finally lifted his hold on the LRA bill. I jumped and screamed for joy when I found out yesterday during tennis. I got stared at, but the joy overcame me and I couldn’t help my actions. The passing of this bill is going to change everything. Watching it progress one step at a time lights up my heart. I’ve been calling Senator Hutchison’s office daily to hopefully get through to someone. I’ve emailed, called, and have done everything short of stalking but I’m getting zero responses. I’m also calling/emailing Congressman Sessions, and am also not getting results. It’s frustrating, but persistence is key.

In Partners in Art today, Josh had a visitor come and talk to him. I assumed it was a teacher. The man was very nice, just like the other adults that come in. I noticed them saying “I love you man” to each other and I admired their close relationship. (Josh’s speech is difficult to understand at times but for the most part, we know what he is saying). After the mysterious man left, I asked Mrs. Rogers who it was. She surprised me with the response, “That’s Josh’s dad. His parents are divorced and he only sees his dad every couple weekends.” As Mrs. Rogers continued talking about Josh and his parents, I was fighting back the tears. Josh is one of the friendliest and sweetest kids in that class. He started crying when his dad was about to leave, and only then I understood why. I remember him kissing his dad’s hand, and his dad kept saying I love you over and over. Replaying this now is painful. My dad and I are very close, and I could never imagine what it would be like to not have a father in my life. It pains me to know Josh is not only dealing with his own mental and physical disabilities, but he doesn’t even have strong family support at home. I feel I need to double up my love for him to attempt to make him forget his home life for at least an hour.

ਹਰਿ ਨਾਲਿ ਰਹੁ ਤੂ ਮੰਨ ਮੇਰੇ ਦੂਖ ਸਭਿ ਵਿਸਾਰਣਾ ॥
Remain always with the Lord, O my mind, and all sufferings will be forgotten.

This line from Anand Sahib keeps me going.